A Tested Faith
04-17-2008
by Kevan Breitinger
Being a church worship leader means, among other things, leading a congregation into the presence of God. In a sense, you are standing for the church, and standing before the church, and whoever else might happen to be watching. Serving as a worship leader in New Life Church of Colorado Springs, as Jared Anderson does, means that many are watching, and for a variety of reasons.
Anderson had attended New Life Church since he was nine years old, a founding member of the ministry’s popular Desperation Band, an influential group responsible for worship standards like ”Rescue,” “Treasure,” and “Amazed.” So when the revelation of founding pastor Ted Haggard’s drug-enhanced three year tryst with a male prostitute became public, Anderson and his fellow members of New Life found themselves with some heavy lifting to do, spiritually speaking. It was only 13 months later when a young gunman approached the church on a Sunday morning following a crowded worship service and began randomly firing, killing two teenaged sisters. Either of these incidents has the potential to devastate or at least challenge even the most mature believer. So when I listened to Jared Anderson’s new aptly-titled CD, Where Faith Begins, and the journey that it reveals, I knew his story would helpful to any believer facing a challenge. Anderson very graciously talked quite openly with me, in the interest of helping others find their way through their own dark alley.
Anderson used a thoughtful analogy to describe the first season of disillusionment, following Haggard’s resignation. “The older you get the better your picture becomes of your own family,” he shared. “As a teenager you start to see the flaws in your parents, and you slowly discover that your family is not perfect. Then you get married and see a whole other side of it as you live even closer with real family life, and then children show you even more. The scandal made me see that we’re not just messed up; we’re totally messed up,” he adds honestly.
That point of brokenness is often the starting place of spiritual healing, and Anderson revealed that he faced a number of hard questions head-on as he walked out of the darkness. “You question you own spiritual nature and the spiritual environment you’ve grown up in. I grew up in that youth group, and Ted married my wife and I. We weren’t close friends, but we had a strong history and connection. It made me question my entire surroundings,” he says. “I had to wonder: did I drink the Kool-aid?”
It’s that kind of raw honesty that heavily flavors Anderson’s Where Faith Begins, adding greatly to the disc’s potency. He is quick to add that he didn’t question the existence of God, saying “I knew God existed and wanted to be close to me. I couldn’t walk away from Him. It was more of a need to look at all the extra stuff and see how much of it was still true. There was a deconstruction process, a loss of innocence.” Anderson also heard many stories of churches that had gone through similar trials, and worse.
“We never really preached prosperity as it is commonly thought of, but gosh, we sure were living it. It seemed nothing ever went wrong. I realized after a while that I had been living in a bubble, and now I’ve been more exposed to the real world” he said. When I asked if he saw this as a positive, his answer was sure. “Yeah, in a lot of ways. In our church I’ve seen so much positive fruit, as the people haven’t become disillusioned with Christianity. I read Henri Nouwen’s “In the Name of Jesus” at that time and it turned my understanding of leadership on its head. Now I have a different understanding of what it means to be successful, or to have the favor of God, or be blessed. Somebody said we all walk with a limp now,” he adds, his hesitant voice revealing some of the cost of this revelation.
The timing, of course, couldn’t have been worse. Before the scandal New Life Church had been growing at a rate of 10% yearly, and had just moved into its 18 million dollar addition the year before, with a congregation of about 10,000 to 11,000. Together they tried to move forward as a body.
“We went through the holidays and were still in the shock of it, but people kept coming, and we were all just trying to get 
through it. Ross Parsley, our worship pastor, handled the speaking, and every Sunday we tried to release our emotions and feelings to God. Our band was still leading worship, singing “Great Is Thy Faithfulness,” which felt very appropriate. Through the spring and summer not having a certainty of the future was hard. We have a pretty young staff, all of us very creative, and you just want to run with something. But you can’t, you just have to hold on. In early fall, the leaders announced a new candidate, one who was external and not internal. It was a huge surprise to everyone, leaving us all a bit skeptical because we wondered how anyone from outside could even work. But Pastor Brady almost came in as a wonder child; it was amazing. It surprised us all how well he fit, how he came in and served and how identifiable he was with us. He made everyone feel safe and we felt like God was once again smiling on our church.”
No one could have predicted the horror of December 9th, when Matthew J. Murray opened fire with a high-powered rifle in the church’s main foyer just after the morning service. And explanations, of course, are just as hard to come by. “Why now,” asked Anderson, “after all we’d been through? We’ll never know why that family has two less people at their dinner table.” He reported that the Works family, who lost daughters Rachel, 16, and Stephanie, 18, are doing well and on a good path, even talking to and comforting the shooter’s family as much as possible. He adds, “Someone said with the scandal we were tested from within, and with the shooting we were tested from without.”
But even in this severe season of testing, the church finds strength and grace abundantly, according to Anderson. “It takes those crisis moments to see where the rubber meets the road, where you really see what’s inside people. We all saw what was inside our new pastor, Brady Boyd, who really became our pastor through this incident. He has helped everyone to begin to trust once again.” Jared tells of some unpublicized upsides of the situation as well. “It was a cold day that Sunday, but the week before when it was warmer, the kids had been all over that playground. We saw God’s hand protecting us even in the horror.”
“The shooting was on a Sunday but the Wednesday after, the whole community came out to support the church,” he adds. “It was an amazing thing for us. We felt like the community mourned with the church. The mayor, the lieutenant governor, the district attorney, members of law enforcement, all came out to pay their respects and show support. It felt very meaningful to us, almost like the community went through the crisis with the church. It’s been quite a journey.”
Jared Anderson’s album was recorded in May, halfway between the time of the scandal and the time of the shooting. It is a strong declaration of faith, both musically and spiritually, from a man who has learned some of his lessons in the hardest ways. “Honestly, until we’re tested, it really isn’t faith,” he says. “Of course, you think it is, because you feel it so strongly. But it’s remarkable the difference between our experience of God now and before. It makes you go deeper, your roots go down further, where others can see that you’ve been pruned and you’re still standing.” His sincerity is obvious as he speaks. “Even after being bushwhacked.”
Jared Anderson and the members of New Life Church are still standing, as he says. Their desire now is for all the glory to go to the One who upholds them always.
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