Sarah Kelly: Still Worshipping
04-07-2008
by Kevan Breitinger
Not only is Sarah Kelly a great rocker, she’s also a lot of fun to talk with. The passion and excitement that come across in her music flow abundantly from her very honest and engaging personality. Anyway, CMCentral caught up with her just a few days after the Oscars in February.
CMCentral (Kevan Breitinger): So Sarah, I read on your blog that you just played an after-Oscars party?
Sarah Kelly: Yeah, for Billboard. It’s so crazy, isn’t it?
That sounds like fun, was it?
It was awesome. Cirque du Soleil was there and they did a lot of great stuff, and there were a lot of people contributing to United Way, so it was a great thing to be a part of. And it was completely star-studded, a lot of people there, so it was an incredible opportunity for me to play.
I’m glad they got a chance to hear your music.
It was amazing, so great, and they really liked it.
Well, of course!
(Laughing) Thank you. People were so supportive; I was surprised how much they really liked it. You’re used to that kind of support in a church, but out there you never know if they’re gonna love you or hate you.
I’m not surprised at all. I really enjoyed the new album, Born To Worship. You’re going back to your worship roots, huh?
Absolutely. I went through a couple of hard years there, you know? I had to sort it out musically and emotionally and 
spiritually, and my music took the journey with me. But now I feel totally centered again, and when I’m just being me, I’m writing worship. It’s what comes natural for me. It’s who I am since I was a small child. Actually a lot of these songs I wrote as a small child.
I’ve always admired you for being so willing to share all you have in the past years about issues of abuse and self-hatred, but I also know you’re so much more than that. That’s not the sum total of who you are.
No way! I was born to be a worshipper. The rest of it is just life taking its toll on people, and it takes its toll on all of us. It’s so funny, but back in junior high and high school I used to complain because I didn’t have a testimony. I thought I was boring and quiet (laughing), but now I love that I don’t have a testimony! I mean, I have one, but I’m just so glad to be at ground zero again.
It took a long time for those bad decisions to indulge in self-hate to process through in my life and get back to ground zero. Where it’s just me and Jesus and what He thinks of me and what I think of Him and what we can do in life together. That where I am now and it took me so long to get back there after being like 13, 14 years old and allowing my mind to go places that I shouldn’t have allowed it to go.
That history makes the songs on the album so much richer because like the Word says, those of us who have been forgiven much love much.
Oh yes, I understand what peace is now for the very first time! I used to think I understood grace. You know, I went to Christian schools, and I lived at my church…. But now I ‘get’ grace, because I really have been forgiven much. The direction of my life all of a sudden really became very simple. Even with all the Oscar stuff and the Grammy stuff, there’s nothing I can do but worship. I just played “Brand New Day” before a large group of non-believers and even they got it when I sang ‘glory to the One who took my sins away.’ I have no problem stating my faith.
I think that joy and gratitude really enriches some of these songs, like “You Overwhelm Me.”
Oh, I love that you love that one! That’s one of my favorites.
It rang very true to me. I relate a lot to what you share about past addictions because I went through similar times myself, and I feel the same sense of joyous amazement at this freedom we now enjoy.
I know, and the funny thing is that that song is such a foreshadowing for me, because I wrote the first verse and the chorus to “You Overwhelm Me” when I was seven. That song has accompanied me through all of it. It was what I would sing when I was alone with God, when I was trying to remember who He really was to me, when my focus was off. When my head was completely messed up, that song reminded me to worship Him for who He was, and to keep holding on to His promises that would somehow make their way through this dark time. I leaned on that song heavily in my dark times, but I wrote it when I was so young. It was almost like a present from God to get me through it all.
I like that sense of history on the album, and the ways you used choirs too.
I used to try to explain to my mom what I was hearing, and finally she understood, ‘oh, she’s hearing more than one part.’ (Laughing). It was hard to explain to my producer too: it’s not a chorus I’m hearing, it’s a round. A lot of what I heard and wrote when I was young was rounds. And I’m not trying to be over spiritual or anything, but I was seven when I wrote that song. I think I may have been hearing angels in my sleep, or maybe I’m just dumb enough to believe that.
Oh, I totally can believe that.
I wasn’t a genius. It’s not like I was a prodigy, and I couldn’t play the piano that well! I really think God was seeing the future I’d go through, knowing that I’d need something to look back on to hold me together, and something to remind me how real He is. Remembering that worship I somehow heard gave me the strength not to commit suicide, and to keep going. I distinctly remember hearing it first, and then repeating it. It wasn’t at all like I came up with it.
I liked “Not Quite Home Yet” a lot too, and it has the same kind of feel.
Yeah, that’s my favorite. I wrote that also when very young, then finished it in college. I first heard it in a dream, and when I woke up I showed my mom, so we could remember it.
The song does have a dream-like sense of grandeur to it.
Yes, the song tries to imagine what it would be like to be home. It’s the story of someone dreaming of heaven. It’s my dream of heaven really. It kept me even through those hard times when I was waking up next to a man that I was scared of. Of course, I’d dream about heaven, and the Jesus I know is safe and warm and loving. He is my dream.
It makes the album even more special that it’s so personal. I was poking around on your website and I saw a term that made me laugh out loud, it was so on the money: ‘karaoke worship.’
Oh yeah (laughing), the last album is the reason that the next album isn’t karaoke worship. A lot of people seemed to think that I was too honest on the last album. But the Bible says to worship God in ‘spirit and in truth,’ and I think a lot of times we forget the truth part. We want to be a little honest with God, but not all the way honest. Like He can’t handle the truth (laughing).
Like He’d be taken by surprise (laughing).
I know, it’s so retarded. That’s why this album is not karaoke. It’s me trying to anchor myself with the truth. And it’s the reason I can worship right now like I’ve never been able to worship before. There’s no roof right now, and there has been in the past.
That’s a great way to put that, Sarah. I read some of your devotionals on your site, too. They were really good. We’d love to have you post some on CMCentral.
I’d really like that. I love doing those. I taught at a Bible college for five years on worship, and it kept me digging into the Word. That’s where I really got my start. They’d push me up on the stage if the real worship leader hadn’t shown up, just to fill in the gap. And that’s how I ended up finding my calling.
Wow, with that voice of yours you didn’t always know?
Oh no, no, no, no. I didn’t pick up a mic until 2000.
Wow, that is so wild. You have a very distinctive, edgy, gritty voice. I can’t believe you didn’t know.
Well, it’s not that pretty so you can see how that could be. People would stare at me and turn like ‘shutup’ (laughing) because I’d be so loud. I didn’t make the high school choir because I wasn’t a ‘blender,’ so you start to think, ‘well, maybe I’m off key.’
It’s funny how things work out, isn’t it?
I really think God used music. I’ve always been a worshipper, and always wrote my own songs. But I got my friends to sing them because I didn’t like my voice. I think God has used this whole music scene to get me free. I know that sounds so dumb, but I think it’s not beyond Him to love someone so much that He’d come up with 2 Grammy nominations to do what He needs to do. There’s just no end to His love, you know?
I like that perspective. I don’t think that sounds dumb at all. Sarah, I’ve so enjoyed talking with you.
Thanks so much for sharing all you have.
Anytime. I can tell we’d be good friends.
You’re always so upbeat, I know you’d be fun to hang out with. Take care!
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