Joy Williams: Marriage, Growth, and Impacting Lives
05-18-2005
by Greg Webb

Joy Williams has become a fixture of the Christian music scene over the past few years. She exploded onto the radio and into fans' hearts with her high-powered voice, upbeat pop sound, and most notably, that smile. She's scored numerous top 10 hits and been nominated for several Dove Awards, including three nominations for Female Vocalist of the Year.

As Joy grows and matures as a person, her music continues to follow suit. Her latest, and best work yet comes in the form of her third album, Genesis. Produced by uber-producer Matt Bronleewe, Joy's latest project features ten songs, all penned for the first time by Joy. The album's first single, "Hide" has quickly become one of the year's biggest hits, and Genesis currently sits in the top 20 of Billboard's Heatseekers Chart and is one of the best-selling albums in Christian music.

CMCentral recently had the pleasure of sitting down once again with Joy. We discussed her music, her life, and, most notably, her new marriage to Nate Yetton, who works with A&R in the Christian music industry.


Following is that conversation in its entirety:


CMCentral (Greg Webb): The first thing I’d like to talk about is how married life is going so far.

(laughs)  Thank you, Greg, for asking me that question. (laughs)

It’s…wow….I’m speechless. I’m married to such an unbelievably wonderful man. He’s just my best friend. He serves me every day. We laugh like best friends do. We hash things out and we work things through and we step on each other’s toes and it’s a beautifully messy journey. It’s both wonderful and hard and fantastic and practical in an everyday way that just makes life so rich.

What was the main thing about him that let you know he was “the one”?

(laughs) I love these questions.

It’s really interesting. I don’t think that there was like one thing in particular. You know, I can remember I had my friends over a series of like four months, all in different points in time tell me about this guy. This guy named Nate. I really wasn’t interested in meeting anybody so I kinda was like, ‘Ehh. I don’t care.’ (laughs)

About eight months after that, my friends kind of tricked me into going to dinner and he was there. I just remember the first meeting I felt like I’d known him a long time. He engaged me. He looked me in the eyes the whole time and asked intelligent questions.  He was devilishly good-looking and also obviously very much in love with the Lord. He was not about himself. I just remember thinking he was really someone that I felt like I’d known longer than those five minutes, the first five minutes that I talked to him.

As we started talking that night a little bit more, we realized we had similar family backgrounds and similar friends and we didn’t even know it. So, we started hanging out in groups and I would watch the way he would treat other people. I would watch the way he would treat, you know, a server in a restaurant. I would watch the way he would talk to his mom on the phone. I haven’t been a very easy girl to impress, but he impressed me. I think what wowed me was his deep sense of sincerity and confidence and selflessness, mixed with a really great sense of humor and eyes that dance when you talk to him about things that he loves to do.

I think our first date probably; I was like ‘this is it.’ But we spent months and months and months hanging out, all of us with friends. We’d talk philosophy and we’d talk theology and we’d talk family and we’d…debate over theology. (laughs) And we’d talk about culture. I just felt like I could talk to him about anything and that I could be myself completely around him and that…oh my goodness…he still liked me when I did that.

I think the first date, when we were able to just be one-on-one with each other, his personality just was shining even more. I felt even more disarmed, comfortably, than [with] any other person that I’d ever experienced.

Nate leads by serving, which is a rare quality in men these days. He still opens every single door, pulls out every single chair. He’s just a wonderfully old-fashioned, yet very culturally relevant, intelligent, winsome man.

One more question on that subject and we’ll move on. What’s the #1 thing you’ve learned about yourself since you’ve been married?

Gosh. Number one thing? (laughs) Every day I’m learning something new.

But, I think what I’ve learned the most about myself is how…afraid I’ve lived most of my life. Before I met Nate, I was constantly trying to please everybody to the detriment of my heart. I was afraid of failure. I was afraid of rejection, which meant I was afraid of living life really passionately. I think marriage, that was a huge leap, that our family supported, our friends supported, and it was what we really felt like God had for us. But I realized I have often lived my life based on fear, instead of based on freedom. I think marriage has taught me, even excited me, to take some risks and to know that even I fall, I still have somebody that’s got my back.

It seems from each album to the next, so far, there’s been a pretty considerable amount of artistic growth. And I don’t mean that in a negative way…

No, thank you. If that’s the worst thing you can say to me, Greg, you’re great. (laughs)

Is that something you consciously strive for or is it something that just happens during the process?

I think every person, whether they work a 9-to-5 office job or are making music, you always want to be learning and growing. For me, I didn’t consciously think ‘I need to show growth on this album.’ (laughs) I think life happened. The more life that happens, the more ink you have in your heart to dip your pen into and write from and communicate with.

So, I want every album that I make, past, present, and in the future…I still feel like the best is yet to come. But I wanted to show growth and I wanted to express and communicate with people.

This album honestly feels like my debut album. It feels like the first album I’ve ever really made, because this is the album that I’ve written. I’ve written all ten songs. I’ve been actively a part of the music and the direction, from the cover to the disc itself, to the lyrics, to the music, to the production.

In the past, due to youth, I really leaned on amazing people, but I really leaned on [those] people to get the project done. I felt like God really was impressing upon me that I needed to grow up a little bit, in terms of taking on more responsibility with making the album, which was scary for me. It’s vulnerable to write lyrics that are directly out of your journal. It was a big risk, but the label was kind and encouraging me in stepping out this way. 

I had no idea if people would love this album or hate this album, and that’s still to be determined. (laughs) And it’ll be different for everybody. But I hope that it shows growth. If you don’t grow as a person or an artist or whatever, then there are some red flags going up.

I know this is going to be like picking a favorite child, but what’s your favorite song from the new CD, if you had to pick one?

Ah, dude! Oh, man. Geez, that’s so…I dunno…mean. (laughs)

Honestly, the single that’s out right now, “Hide,” has really been meaning a lot to me. When I say meaning a lot to me, I don’t mean like I get an egotistical high every time I sing it. I think what has meant the most to me is that with everybody being so supportive and playing “Hide” on the radio, we’ve really just gotten some amazing stories back, just in the [few] weeks that it’s been on the radio.

Just yesterday I had a girl that was crying in the audience, maybe 14 or 15. She was just crying, crying, crying when “Hide” came on. She mouthed 'thank you' when I was singing it. Afterwards, I went and found her and she said, ‘My dad’s dying of cancer and I just feel like I couldn’t tell anybody that I’m scared and sad, and your song reminded me that I shouldn’t bottle that up.’

Also, I had a college-age girl, probably 19, 20, 21, come up to me in Minnesota and tell me, ‘I heard your song on the radio and I’ve been struggling with anorexia and bulimia since I was like 12.’ And she said, ‘I heard your song and it was kind of like the straw that broke the camel’s back for me to realize that I really need to get help.’

And, then I had someone the other day, a man who came up to me and just said, ‘You know what, I’ve had a rough last couple years. I have been seriously contemplating suicide.’ And he said, ‘I was gonna do it. I was going to end it last week. I turned on the radio right before, because I figured I wouldn’t hear a radio ever again, and your song “Hide” was on.’ And, you know, he’s standing here talking to me, about how that song affected him and reminded him that his life really isn’t his, in the sense that God knows all the pain. God’s been with him the whole time, and He offers help and hope.

But, that’s why “Hide” means the most to me, at this moment in time. It’s brought about stories in people, their hearts are gravitated towards the music, towards the lyrics. That’s the most encouraging thing in making music, is when it grabs people’s hearts.

What are you studying right now in the Word? Or a better way to put it, what have you been focusing on lately, in terms of your devotional time?

Wow, interesting. It’s interesting that you’re asking me this right now, because I’ve been in a season where I’ve really been having amazing morning devotion times. Well, not always in the morning, these days. But, I’ve been struggling with being consistent in my devotion time.

But, I have something that’s really been so helpful for me. I go to a woman for counseling and I love her. She’s one of the most fabulous women. She loves God. I was telling her about where I’ve been in terms of wanting to make time for the Lord and struggling with being consistent.

We talked about it, and I’ve been in a season right now, where poems have been almost like devotions for me. Nita is my counselor’s name and Nita has been finding like ancient poems from the 13th century. Like, there’s one today, I’m flipping through it right now. It’s a binder filled with thought-provoking quotes.

Here it is. It’s called “33rd Psalm.” It’s by Lawrence Weider or 'Veeder' if you’re from Germany. I won’t read it, it’s really long. But, I’ve been loving additional texts to the Word and I think there’s Grace for the season.

There’s been instances where I’ve been just copiously involved in reading the Text every day and researching through characters in the Bible and going through Psalms and Proverbs every day. I’m in a season right now, where I’m really enjoying poems about the 33rd Psalm, you know, and like Phillip Schultz or untitled poems by unknown poets that have everything to do with the Lord. I’ve really been inspired by that. It’s encouraged me in my prayer life. I’ve been really enjoying that.

I used to think that if I wasn’t reading from the Bible every single day, I wasn’t really having a devotion. But, it’s not true. I’ve read Oswald Chambers all my life, My Utmost For His Highest. I’m reading prayers from monks in the 12th century. It’s really been very beautiful. I’m really grateful that I’m having this season. It’s kind of creating a new, fresh season within my heart. Not that I’m forsaking the word in any way.

What’s the most important thing your parents did or said when you were growing up?

My parents are fabulous and I really do mean that. I don’t have to say it just because I’m talking to you right now. I say that to my best friends.

I think one of the things that meant the most to me when I was growing up was that my parents told me there was no taboo subject to talk about to them. So, I talked to them, and I asked questions that would make some people blush. I would talk to my parents about, you know, when my friends were starting to drink and my friends are starting to smoke. And they’d be like ‘well, are you curious about that?’ Then we’d have a totally open dialogue about it.

What I appreciated was that my parents instilled within me that while trust should be given to people, it’s also earned. In my relationship with my parents, they treated me like an adult from the time I was very little, all the way up to now. They never patronized me. They never talked down to me. If I didn’t agree with them, they’d say ‘well, let’s talk about it. Why don’t you agree with me?’ I mean, at the end of the day, they’re still my parents and they might be like ‘well, tough, this is what we’re deciding.’ But I felt really safe with them. I felt like I could ask them about sex. I felt like I could ask them about drinking or dating. I felt like I could ask them about philosophy and everything from driving a car to the books that we would all read together. That’s meant a lot to me.

It’s made me sad to have some of my friends tell me stories or be like ‘oh gosh, I’d never tell my parents that.’ And I know there are great parents that just communicate differently. I just felt like, for me to be able to talk to them really candidly, kept me from a lot of things that could have been detrimental to me. It took away the tryst of danger and the tryst of rebellion.

Okay. We’ll end with a couple more light-hearted questions. First, I want to do some word association, with some Christian music icons. The first one is Amy Grant.

Eyes.

If you’ve ever looked into Amy Grant’s eyes, they go for days. They’re unbelievably kind and they’re…weathered, and yet loving. I’ve gotten to have the privilege of talking with her and her eyes never wander when she talks to you.

Kirk Franklin.

Spit-fire!

He is energy all the time. Whether I’m running into him in an airport in Dallas or we’re backstage at the Dove Awards, he is so high energy. He’s so passionate about what he does. He’s just a firecracker. (laughs)

Rebecca St. James.

Sweet friend.

That’s what I call her and that’s what she calls me. We talk on the phone as often as we can actually connect, which isn’t always consistent. But, I’ve known her since I started and she and I are kindred, in a lot of ways. Very different in others, but we love each other. I think she’s cool. I like her a lot. She’s my sweet friend.

Very last question: If you could go anywhere in the world for a two-week vacation, where would it be and why?

I would want to go to the island of Ischia. Don’t ask me how to spell it. (laughs)

But, there’s an island off the coast of Naples in Italy. When Nate and I were dating and asking things like ‘what’s your background, where’s your family from,’… Nate’s family is partially Italian. His extended family still lives over there off the coast of Naples on this island, Ischia. They own a vineyard over there and they’re a distributor of like…table wine, all over Italy. His extended family still lives there and I would love to meet them and also be off the coast of Italy and soak up the sun and be among his ancestors. I think that would be amazing.